Thanks for Sending Chain Letters
To all my friends - thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me homo.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonald's can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning queer because when I go to parties I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear she'll take my kidneys and leave me napping in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Erickson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I'm positive all of this resulted from a stinking chain I broke, or forgot to follow, and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.
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